a setback?

I have been searching for a decent apartment, and this weekend I viewed a well-maintained, beautiful place in a great neighborhood. I liked the landlord, and she liked me. Unfortunately, 70 other people inquired about it, and in the end, I didn't get it. I am disappointed. Looking is hard, and what if this keeps happening, that the competition is just too stiff? I make a good impression; I'm stable, personable, and my credit rating is great. I think I probably stood a good chance of getting the place, but ultimately did not have the luck of the draw. Well...every month that I don't have to pay the extra $300., I should be happy in a sense. Right? And I'm not looking forward to moving, and I would have had to leave my beloved neighborhood if I took that place...

constant pressure

I got a windfall of $1,700. I often fantasize about how I would spend a windfall of $1000., or 5,000., or 10 or 20...Just as often, un-windfalls happen, so I'm not excited. I paid off some debt with $7oo, then put the other thou in my emergency savings, to make the first $1000. But any day now, I'm going to be moving into my own apartment from a place I'm sharing, and I will definitely be paying at least $300. more a month. It's strange: I am really serious about saving money. I really want to be frugal, but when I search for apartments, there are certain things I won't sacrifice. For example, I don't want to live in a studio apartment. That right there is a $300. distinction. And I have lived with people for years, but I can't take their bad furnishings and messes anymore. I vant to be alone!!!

progress

It's May 18th. I am down to 12,000. I am adding $25. a month to my debt paydown. Big dreams...we'll see.
I have saved $83. per paycheck over the last few months, working towards $2000. per year.
goals to keep in mind: 8/07, balance $10,400. 1/08, $7,800. 5/08, $5,700. 8/08, $4,125. 1/09, $1500. 4/09 ZERO.

excruciating penance

I am paying for bad habits that started when I was seduced, in the major thoroughfare at my college student union, into getting my first credit card in exchange for m&ms. I read articles, all the time, about this scandalous practice of credit card companies. I was a classic case. Let's say, "I am". I am not calling myself a victim. At this point, I take responsibility for my pattern of bad behavior. It merely started then. Back when I was 10 years old, I was the queen baby-sitter of my neighborhood, and I socked away cash. Now, I am trying to revive that part of myself. But in my twenties, I went bad. I paid for parties with my credit card, and one trip to Central America. I bought a used car for $3,000., putting it on a card with a 0% APR. (At the time, I couldn't get a small loan with that low an APR.) On credit, I bought a new wardrobe before the start of a new job. I would be late on payments and have fees associated with it. I often wish I could analyze the makeup of my current balance. How old and encrusted is some of that debt? With my modest income, I can still acheive my goals, but the debt gets in the way, and time is of the essence for retirement and stock accrument. Now, I must pay the debt, and put off aggressive saving. I regret this. Ye, teens and twenty somethings! Abandon all hope if you enter this pitfall!

nascent savvy

Maybe it is due to progress in my self-education about money management, or maybe it is because I am getting older, but I am getting tougher. Once upon a time, I would not scrutinize my bank statements, and haggling was unheard of in my m.o. Now, I know where and how I spend my money, and any inconsistencies, I hone in on and call to question. I just got to the end of an introductory rate APR for my credit card balance. Awhile ago, I decided not to open any new credit card accounts, and not close any of the four I've got. The goal is to establish long-term membership with the accounts, but not have a whole lot of them overall. I called each of the four companies to see who could give me the best deal. A couple weeks ago, one offered me 4.99% for the life of the loan. I didn't take it, thinking I'd shop around and call them back. The company where my money currently sits was going up from 4.99% on 4/2/07, and I was getting the run- around about the new APR. They quoted me 7.99% for a year, which wouldn't have been so bad, but then they changed it to 9.99%. Of course, I wasn't jumping on anything at the time these offers were first made. The last straw with my current company was that they charged me the finance charge for the 9.99% before 4/2/07. I suppose they were looking ahead...but still. I balked. I asked them to take half of the new finance charge away, since it is still prior to the change date. Then, I moved my money to a place where it will be 4.99% until 3/10/08, (mark my words) and then lock in at 7.99% for the life of the loan. It's a couple hundred here or there, and I must stay current with payments, but I liked dealing with the second company, and the particular sales assistant I had, better than the first. My debt still holds me back from higher things, but I feel a teensy bit empowered.

financial update march 2007

I am not making the $500/m payments to my credit card, as planned. I only paid $300. this month. But I am down to $12,999. on my balance. At least I am going down. I also started a monthly emergency fund, automatically deducting $166./m out of my paycheck. So far, it doesn't hurt too badly. I still need a solid monthly contribution to my IRA, (I'm aiming for $360./m), and an increase in my "miscellaneous" allowance. I just made a separate account for food, meals and entertainment and "miscellaneous", apart from the account for money just to pay monthly bills. I hope that this way, I will never dip into the essential bills money, and I will be able to view my balance for the more fluid expenses, unclouded. A problem for me with the "meals and entertainment" category is that there has been no "miscellaneous" category, so any misc stuff I buy eats into my entertainment budget, which is $200./m.

How do I plan to get, like, $566./m extra? Well, the raise negotiation at the union contract table is not looking so hot, even though I presented in front of HR and showed how although my area has a phenomenally high cost of living (matching S.F. as the highest in the country), our county makes the thirteenth lowest salary out of 16 neighboring counties. We are not going to get a significant raise. My options, then, are to apply for a job in neighboring S.F., and there is one now which is for the same classification as my current job, but it pays $15,000. more a year. Or, I'm thinking of getting a part time job just to pay off my credit card. After I pay that off, I can quit.

Meanwhile, I am investigating life insurance policies. I have a mortgage, and I might like to will my house to a couple of friends and their kids, but not the financial burden.

Oh, yeah: recent good financial behavior includes the beginning of an emergency fund, which I plan to continue to grow even after reaching the basic $$1000.; I submitted my taxes; I paid off a $2000. personal loan; and I have pledged not to buy new clothes, books or music until 8/07. So far, so good.

depressed about money today

I'm dwelling on how I am not where I want to be because of my debt. I have such modest goals, and haven't even attained them. I wish I could think of a way to make more money. Basically, I want to be making $500 more a month just to be making my modest goal for an IRA, and modest savings goal. After that, though, I'd still be tight on the budget. I looked at a website where this guy has a financial manifesto, his name is Marshall Brain. His cautionary tale case fits my situation to a tee. I have just enough in my budget for basics, but no wiggle room. And extra stuff comes up all the time. But I still blow it regularly, wasting money in a time when there just isn't extra for anything. Vicious, vicious cycle. I need to relax and turn my attention elsewhere. I am ok. Thank god I have a roof over my head, basics covered, and food. How can I complain? Really! Many, many of my friends have less money and more struggle for the basics.

I saw a segment of a movie, one of those monologues by Spaulding Gray, in which he says, "What would it be like to know poor people?" It was strange. I guess a lot of people stick among their own, rich or poor or middle. But in my life, there are literally a few billionaires, some millionaires, plenty in my range, many with a lot smaller salaries, people on Social Security and a handful of homeless with no income, even some prisoners. All of these people I have spent the day with on many occasions, been in their living space, eaten with them. It's funny, some of my wealthier friends buy me lunch, and I buy lunch for some of my poorer friends. I, of all people, should be pretty zen about money, and know it isn't the key to happiness. A close friend of mine is a prisoner. When I visit him, he shows up in the same, faded yellow jumper, year after year. In his pocket, he carries some early seventies-dated glasses wrapped in toilet paper. That is grounding! The guy literally has nothing. What am I complaining about?